Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Annaliese Ursula Ludwig Wallace

My arms are open
Come as your beautiful self
Should you ever wish to be true to
Life, to you, to us.

B

And in case you forgot...

Annaliese. I do love you. I do want you to come. If I could, I would pick you up and bring you here. I wish I could have done that a long time ago. But I can’t. I can’t bring you here. I can’t kidnap you. You have to bring yourself here. Can you do that?

You told me you were an independent person when I met you. Show that independence, and act independently. Come here, if it is truly what you want. I hope it is. I want you to act true to love, if it is true love. That’s what it is to me. I also want you to have faith in me. That’s the only faith that really matters to me, and that’s the faith I want to have in you. But I need you here.

I will help you best I can once you are here. I will marry you if you truly love me. But I can’t go through any more conversations endlessly circling without anything happening. You have to act on your own behalf to get here if you want to be here. Do you want to be here, with me? There are no guarantees in life. I don’t know how everything will turn out. But I do love you. I do want to care for you. Can you be tolerant of my thoughts? I am rational, and reasoned, but I am also emotional. I love you. I want to see you happy in life. I want to care for you. I want to hold you. I want to be your’s forever.

Annaliese, I’m sorry I can’t communicate until you are here. It has been too damaging all that has happened so far. I can’t stand you being apart when you could be here, but still talking to me. I can’t stand all the reversals. It is too painful and everything said now seems hurtful. I apologise also for all the things I have said that have hurt you. They were said to try and end the hurtful situation that has so far had no good end, but I would far prefer a good end if possible. If it is possible, then I really need you to show me you can take your own life in your own hands and do what is right for you, if being with me is that. We will need this in our own relationship, if a loving and strong relationship with me is what you want.

I know that an independent, individual Annaliese is a good person. I know that you are intrinsically good, on you own, as you are. I know it. I see enormous potential in you. You are gifted. I would be privileged to be with you and help you realise your gifts. I would like to do that. I would love to do that. I love you.

If you can make it, I am here. I hope you do turn up on my doorstep, or anywhere I am. I love you.

Ben Duncan Ludwig Wallace